Lucky

May peace be upon you....


Following the road accident I faced a week ago... my dear sisters have been tormenting me with remarks of how ugly/scary my knee looks like... (NOOOO!!!!) I'm happy to say the colour on my bruised knee is turning redder (thats good right?) and although the past few days I've been doing my 'solat' in sitting position, atleast I can bend and straighten my knee more often and free-willingly now.. Alhamdulilah. It was a pain the first few days and my leg get shaky if I stayed up too long now. Talk about falling under staircase (malay proverbs- dah jatuh ditimpa tangga). Well, the picture below shows the colours thats been playing on my knee these days. Rofl, OF COURSE ITS NOT DRAWN TO SCALE!! HAHA



The wound you see, isnt a part of me that hurts the most. :): Lucky me..
Allah knows best...

Twenty-third

Assalammu'alaikum.

& so today was a picnic day.

Dishes served:
1. Carbonara Chic & Mushroom spagg
2. Mini peach cheesecake

We should have taken a dozen picture of those but we sort of forgot and just dig in right after settling down. So, it is for everyone's best interest, esp you reader, if both of us were to take up some kind of a new hobby. Say like... Photography... And more  socialising perhaps?

Hahah, seems like both of us are turning into hermits!! Well, i sort of know he is, but me?

Ahhh *creepy crawling feeling*

#btw the best phrase of the day goes to "You are my best friend".

Treasure that. For always. ❤

somewhere under the big summer sky

I would like to go horse-riding someday. Itd be best if I am allowed to race with my intended while on horsebacks under the vast blue summer sky.

//picture of Linda Lael M!ller & a horse.

Grown Lavendar in stripes of Blue

may peace be upon you

When I was fifteen, I wanted to go to Brooklyn because it sounded so similar to the word "Books". There's this picture in my head of a world just surrounded with books. And all of them calling out to me just wanting me to read.

My world is changing again. Never thought that I would say this, but my world is not about books anymore. 

searching, searching in pioneer, we will find our way

Salaam Sejahtera!
May peace be upon you.

Baby and her kittens had left us.. I know this day would come, I anticipated feeling this loss. However, it won't be too overrated if I say I still yearn to have some more time with them, would it?

InsyaAllah, I will practice more patience and say Thanks to Allah if ever our paths cross again and again. Of course, when I say they had left us, it means they are all not on our staircase landing area anymore. Nowadays I see Baby lingering around the ground level void deck, before this with Warohmah, other times alone, never with Mawaddah.. Mawaddah was lost to us first.. InsyaAllah if its fated to meet them again, then we will. ♥

you really know how to start

salaam

I had a groggy morning today. Much like Mawaddah here;

I'm calling the one coated with black, Warahmah. You know like how they say “Semoga menjadi keluarga yang sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah.” ? Upon translation their names would mean Mawaddah = Brimming with love and Warahmah = Fulfilled obligations. You would ask what is sakinah then. Honestly speaking, I'm not very bothered to check at the moment but my guess is it could mean either peaceful or harmonious. I would have called the third one exactly that.

Unfortunately, on the second day I came to visit, she fell to her death. What disgusts me most is, I just sat at my corner watching her explore the place and I still sat idly when she went too close to the ledge. I saw her trying to claw her way up and still I sat there frozen with ice in my veins overestimating what a kitten's claw could do. Even mama cat, which I'm calling Baby (don't argue w me on this. she's a babe, really), whom was sitting right across me witnessed its fall and my incapabilities.

It was Horrible. I went down the stairs to check and hope against hope that the kitten would atleast be okay. You know how they say cat always land on its' feet. This time they're wrong.

I found her at the 2nd level. The contents in my stomach was threatening to exit through my oesophagus. Tiny drops of blood on the rails, on the floor. Baby kitty was just heaving and heaving while resting on its side, blood in its mouth.

It was Friday and I made it a habit to don traditional clothes on Friday. If you could see me that day, I was probably the "vegetable" girl scuttling up the stairs with my skirt hiked up to my knees, sweating like an overworked maid, panting like a dog.

Helplessness was really the one that brought tears. I went to mum asking for her advice- half-panting, half-crying, felt like dying with the pressure on my chest. Rushed back down thinking if I could bring her to Baby because Mama cat would know what to do. Only thing is, baby kitty was already motionless. I felt like I've failed.

She was beautiful all white with no hint of black fur at all, unlike the other two. It nags at me that I did not do anyth for it. Mum told me not to go down anymore since its already gone. Part of me wanted to bury it myself but the other part of me wanted to forget it ever happen. The guilt, the helplessness, the sudden death...

 I feel like I've lost my best friend recently and a few days later when Fhaz led me to them I know Allah was trying to soothe my loss with their presence. And for that I am grateful. (thank you, Allah, alhamdulilah). And before I got too comfortable with them, I guess I'm being tested again with a loss.

Its coming to 2 weeks now since our lives overlapped. I don't know how much longer I could cuddle and enjoy their presence but for now we're just feeding Baby, so she could feed her babies, and visit them now and then. Oh how my heart aches when I see them. All those blue eyes...

=

I let them sleep on my lap this afternn. And later at night just now. It feels good to hold them. therapeutic, quite. I know, I know, they dont really need me. But their warmth tugs at me and their trust are just endearing. Goodbye would be tough..♥ I have hopes we won't be crossing that bridge any time soon. In fact, any and or all bridge of goodbye at all. I'm clingy like that.

♥

I want to linger here, a little longer here

you lived in the shadows
somewhere best i not know
you are the line between dream and reality
whose presence i should not stress on
but i do when my time is plenty
haunted by what could have and should have nots
little pieces of me lurking,hiding
precious time baiting me forth
i told myself you are not what i wanted
you are not the person i desire
yet if i was honest i guess i know i'm kidding myself a little
As painful as the decision is to let you go
It pains me more to see you have not gone
Yet I knew I was devastated when I thought you've left
Why don't I feel any joy when I found out you were here instead?

May peace be upon you,

it happens to you before, didn't it? When you've got everything sorted and figured out, something else jumps at you and shook you to your core saying (/screaming), "YOU ARE WRONG, DAMN IT! WRONG, I SAY!"

Ya Allah! I seek your guidance in guiding me through the matter of the heart.

Random fact of the day; I miss sitting for literature class with my annoying pack of girly classmates and 5 boys. Those were good old days. Vanity, commoner, plain, bookworm, late-bloomer. Those are all the things that I found during my soul-searching days in Pioneer (and i owe it to myself and those who taught me; to not let those memories be ruined by them who seem hell-bent) ♥

Wallahualam Bisawab. ♥

you're insecure, don't know what for

May this piece of news reach you in the best state of health (:

Raya IS ALMOST HALFWAY THROUGH NOW.
MY YOUNGEST SISTER AND LIL BRO HAVE
BROUGHT HER FRIENDS AROUND.
AND THE SECOND SISTER IS BRINGING
HER FRIENDS ROUND TMR.

WHEN ARE MY FRIENDS COMING???!! *sobs*

THIS YR RAYA IS A LIL DIFFERENT...
I MADE HAWAIIAN COOKIES ANDDDD KUIH CORNFLAKES!
HEH. Mum LET ME SHAPE UP the kuih tart and M&ms.






look at The Young Uncle Nial-nial! (we have an anak saudara/nephew of the same age as him okay! HAHA) Right after the first batch *dings*, he rushed into the kitchen and "NAK RASE NAK RASE" *smacks head*. Alhamdulilah though, because of him too, mum forced my hand to try the recipe. haha. And alhamdulilah, this year raya kuih ade nampak luak - ermm, it also could be because we dont really cook meals for guests this year, esp those who comes with big families =s

OH OH OH!!!
GUESS WHO DID WE SOLD OUR VERY FIRST BATCH OF
COOKIES THIS YEAR?










I SPENT ALMOST 2 DAYS PREPARING FOR EXTRA...












TURNS OUT MY GRANNY WANTS SOME
AND MUM WANTS TO GIVE AUNTY, HER SIS,
SOME, TOO












THE AGONY I WENT THROUGH.....!!!










BUT ! ONCE ITS DONE !
I WON'T THINK TWICE OF DOING IT AGAIN (:
(NOT WHEN IM YOUNG AND STILL HAVE IT IN ME -SAID MUM ANYWAY;)





SOOOOOOoooo.........









THE FIRST BATCH OF PACKED AND SEALED COOKIES
GOES TOoooooooo.........
(HE ORDERED M&M AND HAWAIIAN COOKIES)















EHM,










(lets see if all still recognise him :)

MY CS OFCOS~!! ^^^^


TA-DA! Thank you for the support! I love you! muah muah! (\/^^,)



Okay, shy already... *pinks*

white butterfly so pretty, looks so fragile

May peace be upon you...


This is just in, a white butterfly fluttered around me just now. I managed to take a few snapshots... Here they are;


white butterfly strolling on my fork


white butterfly resting on my fork


white butterfly fascinated by my laptop?


white buttefly enjoying the fan of my laptop


I used to get very excited when I see butterfly/moths in the house. Mum always say its a malay belief that when you see a butterfly in the house, its a sign that someone's coming. It gets exciting, isn't it, to see who the mystery guest will be and why does this person(s) come to visit us. Atlas, tonight, this pretty butterfly reminded me of the proposal that has yet to come and the guest that I've missed often. SubhanAllah... please help me through this...

*breaks*

Butterfly, fly away
Flutter before the shutter goes down
I'm begging you to bring my hopes with you
The dreams you've dashed
For all is only a fool's

Butterfly, fly away
Go back where you come from
Here you don't belong
Don't sweeten me with your words
For you know yours does hurts

Butterfly, fly away
I wish I could come with you
But I have duties that I've disobeyed before
Please pardon me for I can't play
No matter how your looks make me sway

Butterfly, fly away
Fly away with these tears of longing
And this heartwrenching sorrow
Tell me once that I'll be happy again
That the love I had was not cast out the window

Butterfly, butterfly
If only he knows how much he has hurt me so
Fly away, out and away..
Won't you tell him, without him I'll wilt, I'll wilt a waste...

cranky over dirt

May peace be upon you.

BEFORE



AFTER



If only, my house is totally dust-free.

secrets on hold

may peace be upon you.

All these while you and them have tried to tell me and I listened but I,... didn't understand.. I can't just quit my feelings. Its too complicated... Allow me to drop them then. Like the bad habit that it is... Allah, help me please. Stop this pair of coffee from spinning.

teddybear

May peace be upon You

Hugs you to my self
Don't wish to think
Just start rubbing
You against me

So warm are you
Thaw this cold heart of mine
Wet tears that drench your coat
Won't you say its Alright?

Little hands little feet
How sweet you feel cuddled in my embrace
If I hang out with you
Does that make me little too?

They say you look adorable
That I looked good with you
Is that all that is for us
Or have life taught us to trust?

Sometimes I lay awake at night,
wishing you could hold me back as tight,
make me feel precious and light
Not just like a teddy but like any other human rights.

i dont want to be your favourite toy

not to worry

I should get some of that sleep.


*hugs pillow to self*


Maybe he's forgotten those days when we have each other numbers and yet we still prefer to race home to find the other online..

Yeah, he'll come back when he remembers.

[playing; the man that can't be moved]

May peace be upon you.

Too much things to do or too much to think about??

Haha,smtimes I feel like I have too much emotional baggage then I am constantly trying to or/and disposing of. Lol?

Ask me here.

wavers

may peace be upon you....

If I were to follow my heart,

I want to just sit and cry for all the stupid things I did

And give up,

Just so I don't do any of it again...

Then I think of those who had wept with me.

Is it really fair for them if I took the easy way out?

Life is too short.. but not short enough for changes.

High time I do some error correction...



Papa reminded me; "Allah won't test his servants unless HE knows they can bear it". So if its true that Allah won't test his servants with a burden that they can't handle, please ease this burden and let it be manageable for me, for us, ya Allah. If this burden comes because it is because of my own wrongdoing, then let the ones I love at least be forgiven for what I did even when their hearts hates me for it..astaghfirullahal'azim.

A little colour in this life of black and white

may peace be upon you.

Scandal asked me along for her adik sedare's bday; Adrianna ♥♥
And we get to skate around for a while. Generous right? (:

Thanks for asking me Scandal!
Here's one for you! *Grins*

be careful dear, there is me for you

May peace be upon you.

Doctor's language are much like foreign terms isn't it.

Nurses, under the direction of the doctor, often care for patients who are admitted to the hospital with an intestinal illness called gastroenteritis, or--as it's more commonly known--the stomach flu. This illness may not seem major, but if the patient is not properly cared for, it can have serious negative effects, such as the patient becoming dehydrated. Gastroenteritis usually involves diarrhea, throwing up, stomach/intestinal pain, fever and headache. Someone can get it from another person who is sick with it, from dirty water or from eating food that has become infected or spoiled.

Read more: Nursing Care Plan for Acute Gastroenteritis | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5100736_nursing-care-plan-acute-gastroenteritis.html#ixzz1IuqjLGF2

I really should take care of myself more - don't want to be a burden to those who love me ♥

The good thing abt visiting Dr Fong (and out of all the Doctors that I dislike very much, I think I can safely say I pledge my loyalty to Dr. Fong - which is to say I dislike him the least - for now) is that I get to see BabyBoy, Ammar. He is so talkative now. ♥ ♥ ♥

Future teachers, educators, please be strong enough to be strict with them when it comes to disciplinary actions even though you are so tempted to "sayang,sayang" them. I'm not saying you have to be a lion/lioness every single day (that will be tiring, phew, i know~) but when it comes to things that you need to be strict about, don't hold back because you are teacher/educator/discipline mistress in your own class and you are expected to be firm and besides knowing how much I pamper and love this cousin of mine, I don't have the heart to yell at him. And I'm not even the parent! Lol~ Best Wishes! ♥

heart of gold

may peace be upon you...

what happen to all that talk of "don't be influence by others easily" and the "give others the benefit of a doubt" when socialising? I mean seriously if you don't like the person but the person is talking to you about a common AND harmless topic, why are you giving them an attitude?

NAUZUBILLAHMINZALIK. Out of the many sickness that you test me and my love ones, ya Allah, I pray it would never be sickness of the heart.

get wet, lets!

May peace be upon you !

GUESS WHERE DID MUM, DAD, MIR AND I WENT JUST A FEW HOURS AGO??











PASAR GEYLANG!!!









I'M SO TEMPTED TO SPEND, SPEND, SPEND THERE!
THERE'S MY BUTTONS BROOCH (I'VE BEEN WANTING THOSE FOR, I DONT KNOW, FOREVER?), THE JUBBAH TELEKONG a.k.a. TELEKONG BOYANN (WHOA, RACIST PE) AND, AND ,.... I DID NOT SPEND ON IT. EXCEPT FOR THESE BABIES:









SURPRISE! YAY! FINALLY! A COVERED SWIMMING COSTUME!
(but my feet still opened though)
MIRA GOT ONE TOO! HOW COOOLL!!! :DDDD

My very first double X and 1 L clothing & for once its not a pass-me-down shirt. (:

I LOVE MY JOBBBBBBB

May peace be upon you....

Alhamdulilah today was definitely one of the better days. the queue wasn't as long and the customers did not asked tooo non-sense-si-cal questions that is hard to answer and all of the transactions went smoothly - well most of them - and even Boss said all in all "It was a good day. Give a pat on your back". Alhamdulillah Wa Syukur Lillah

One of the friends I have at work is showing me a black face. I guess it comes with authority and power. In a way I know he is doing this for my own good, in another, I can't help missing that friend. I hope I can learn things at Enterprise Banking faster so that I can see my friend smile again at me and give him less worries.

Have you watch The Devil's Wear Prada? Ykno the leading actress? yeah, that and her 'senior colleague' the one who had the flu and was so call de-moted and when she's having a bad, terrible, sick day did she give up? Nope, instead she said, "I love my job, i love my job, i love my job." maybe you might think she's pathetic. Well in life you either have the talents or the guts and determination to do something. I admire her role because she might not have the best-i-know-how but at least she knows what she wants and tries to go for it with all that she can. If I can't be great at this job, I want to at least give it all I could before I throw down the curtain and call it quits.

I owe that much to those who had endured me through learning it.

Allah hu Rabbi, help me get through this please.