I want to linger here, a little longer here

you lived in the shadows
somewhere best i not know
you are the line between dream and reality
whose presence i should not stress on
but i do when my time is plenty
haunted by what could have and should have nots
little pieces of me lurking,hiding
precious time baiting me forth
i told myself you are not what i wanted
you are not the person i desire
yet if i was honest i guess i know i'm kidding myself a little
As painful as the decision is to let you go
It pains me more to see you have not gone
Yet I knew I was devastated when I thought you've left
Why don't I feel any joy when I found out you were here instead?

May peace be upon you,

it happens to you before, didn't it? When you've got everything sorted and figured out, something else jumps at you and shook you to your core saying (/screaming), "YOU ARE WRONG, DAMN IT! WRONG, I SAY!"

Ya Allah! I seek your guidance in guiding me through the matter of the heart.

Random fact of the day; I miss sitting for literature class with my annoying pack of girly classmates and 5 boys. Those were good old days. Vanity, commoner, plain, bookworm, late-bloomer. Those are all the things that I found during my soul-searching days in Pioneer (and i owe it to myself and those who taught me; to not let those memories be ruined by them who seem hell-bent) ♥

Wallahualam Bisawab. ♥

you're insecure, don't know what for

May this piece of news reach you in the best state of health (:

Raya IS ALMOST HALFWAY THROUGH NOW.
MY YOUNGEST SISTER AND LIL BRO HAVE
BROUGHT HER FRIENDS AROUND.
AND THE SECOND SISTER IS BRINGING
HER FRIENDS ROUND TMR.

WHEN ARE MY FRIENDS COMING???!! *sobs*

THIS YR RAYA IS A LIL DIFFERENT...
I MADE HAWAIIAN COOKIES ANDDDD KUIH CORNFLAKES!
HEH. Mum LET ME SHAPE UP the kuih tart and M&ms.






look at The Young Uncle Nial-nial! (we have an anak saudara/nephew of the same age as him okay! HAHA) Right after the first batch *dings*, he rushed into the kitchen and "NAK RASE NAK RASE" *smacks head*. Alhamdulilah though, because of him too, mum forced my hand to try the recipe. haha. And alhamdulilah, this year raya kuih ade nampak luak - ermm, it also could be because we dont really cook meals for guests this year, esp those who comes with big families =s

OH OH OH!!!
GUESS WHO DID WE SOLD OUR VERY FIRST BATCH OF
COOKIES THIS YEAR?










I SPENT ALMOST 2 DAYS PREPARING FOR EXTRA...












TURNS OUT MY GRANNY WANTS SOME
AND MUM WANTS TO GIVE AUNTY, HER SIS,
SOME, TOO












THE AGONY I WENT THROUGH.....!!!










BUT ! ONCE ITS DONE !
I WON'T THINK TWICE OF DOING IT AGAIN (:
(NOT WHEN IM YOUNG AND STILL HAVE IT IN ME -SAID MUM ANYWAY;)





SOOOOOOoooo.........









THE FIRST BATCH OF PACKED AND SEALED COOKIES
GOES TOoooooooo.........
(HE ORDERED M&M AND HAWAIIAN COOKIES)















EHM,










(lets see if all still recognise him :)

MY CS OFCOS~!! ^^^^


TA-DA! Thank you for the support! I love you! muah muah! (\/^^,)



Okay, shy already... *pinks*

white butterfly so pretty, looks so fragile

May peace be upon you...


This is just in, a white butterfly fluttered around me just now. I managed to take a few snapshots... Here they are;


white butterfly strolling on my fork


white butterfly resting on my fork


white butterfly fascinated by my laptop?


white buttefly enjoying the fan of my laptop


I used to get very excited when I see butterfly/moths in the house. Mum always say its a malay belief that when you see a butterfly in the house, its a sign that someone's coming. It gets exciting, isn't it, to see who the mystery guest will be and why does this person(s) come to visit us. Atlas, tonight, this pretty butterfly reminded me of the proposal that has yet to come and the guest that I've missed often. SubhanAllah... please help me through this...

*breaks*

Butterfly, fly away
Flutter before the shutter goes down
I'm begging you to bring my hopes with you
The dreams you've dashed
For all is only a fool's

Butterfly, fly away
Go back where you come from
Here you don't belong
Don't sweeten me with your words
For you know yours does hurts

Butterfly, fly away
I wish I could come with you
But I have duties that I've disobeyed before
Please pardon me for I can't play
No matter how your looks make me sway

Butterfly, fly away
Fly away with these tears of longing
And this heartwrenching sorrow
Tell me once that I'll be happy again
That the love I had was not cast out the window

Butterfly, butterfly
If only he knows how much he has hurt me so
Fly away, out and away..
Won't you tell him, without him I'll wilt, I'll wilt a waste...

cranky over dirt

May peace be upon you.

BEFORE



AFTER



If only, my house is totally dust-free.

secrets on hold

may peace be upon you.

All these while you and them have tried to tell me and I listened but I,... didn't understand.. I can't just quit my feelings. Its too complicated... Allow me to drop them then. Like the bad habit that it is... Allah, help me please. Stop this pair of coffee from spinning.

teddybear

May peace be upon You

Hugs you to my self
Don't wish to think
Just start rubbing
You against me

So warm are you
Thaw this cold heart of mine
Wet tears that drench your coat
Won't you say its Alright?

Little hands little feet
How sweet you feel cuddled in my embrace
If I hang out with you
Does that make me little too?

They say you look adorable
That I looked good with you
Is that all that is for us
Or have life taught us to trust?

Sometimes I lay awake at night,
wishing you could hold me back as tight,
make me feel precious and light
Not just like a teddy but like any other human rights.

i dont want to be your favourite toy

not to worry

I should get some of that sleep.


*hugs pillow to self*


Maybe he's forgotten those days when we have each other numbers and yet we still prefer to race home to find the other online..

Yeah, he'll come back when he remembers.

[playing; the man that can't be moved]

May peace be upon you.

Too much things to do or too much to think about??

Haha,smtimes I feel like I have too much emotional baggage then I am constantly trying to or/and disposing of. Lol?

Ask me here.

wavers

may peace be upon you....

If I were to follow my heart,

I want to just sit and cry for all the stupid things I did

And give up,

Just so I don't do any of it again...

Then I think of those who had wept with me.

Is it really fair for them if I took the easy way out?

Life is too short.. but not short enough for changes.

High time I do some error correction...



Papa reminded me; "Allah won't test his servants unless HE knows they can bear it". So if its true that Allah won't test his servants with a burden that they can't handle, please ease this burden and let it be manageable for me, for us, ya Allah. If this burden comes because it is because of my own wrongdoing, then let the ones I love at least be forgiven for what I did even when their hearts hates me for it..astaghfirullahal'azim.

A little colour in this life of black and white

may peace be upon you.

Scandal asked me along for her adik sedare's bday; Adrianna ♥♥
And we get to skate around for a while. Generous right? (:

Thanks for asking me Scandal!
Here's one for you! *Grins*

be careful dear, there is me for you

May peace be upon you.

Doctor's language are much like foreign terms isn't it.

Nurses, under the direction of the doctor, often care for patients who are admitted to the hospital with an intestinal illness called gastroenteritis, or--as it's more commonly known--the stomach flu. This illness may not seem major, but if the patient is not properly cared for, it can have serious negative effects, such as the patient becoming dehydrated. Gastroenteritis usually involves diarrhea, throwing up, stomach/intestinal pain, fever and headache. Someone can get it from another person who is sick with it, from dirty water or from eating food that has become infected or spoiled.

Read more: Nursing Care Plan for Acute Gastroenteritis | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5100736_nursing-care-plan-acute-gastroenteritis.html#ixzz1IuqjLGF2

I really should take care of myself more - don't want to be a burden to those who love me ♥

The good thing abt visiting Dr Fong (and out of all the Doctors that I dislike very much, I think I can safely say I pledge my loyalty to Dr. Fong - which is to say I dislike him the least - for now) is that I get to see BabyBoy, Ammar. He is so talkative now. ♥ ♥ ♥

Future teachers, educators, please be strong enough to be strict with them when it comes to disciplinary actions even though you are so tempted to "sayang,sayang" them. I'm not saying you have to be a lion/lioness every single day (that will be tiring, phew, i know~) but when it comes to things that you need to be strict about, don't hold back because you are teacher/educator/discipline mistress in your own class and you are expected to be firm and besides knowing how much I pamper and love this cousin of mine, I don't have the heart to yell at him. And I'm not even the parent! Lol~ Best Wishes! ♥

heart of gold

may peace be upon you...

what happen to all that talk of "don't be influence by others easily" and the "give others the benefit of a doubt" when socialising? I mean seriously if you don't like the person but the person is talking to you about a common AND harmless topic, why are you giving them an attitude?

NAUZUBILLAHMINZALIK. Out of the many sickness that you test me and my love ones, ya Allah, I pray it would never be sickness of the heart.

get wet, lets!

May peace be upon you !

GUESS WHERE DID MUM, DAD, MIR AND I WENT JUST A FEW HOURS AGO??











PASAR GEYLANG!!!









I'M SO TEMPTED TO SPEND, SPEND, SPEND THERE!
THERE'S MY BUTTONS BROOCH (I'VE BEEN WANTING THOSE FOR, I DONT KNOW, FOREVER?), THE JUBBAH TELEKONG a.k.a. TELEKONG BOYANN (WHOA, RACIST PE) AND, AND ,.... I DID NOT SPEND ON IT. EXCEPT FOR THESE BABIES:









SURPRISE! YAY! FINALLY! A COVERED SWIMMING COSTUME!
(but my feet still opened though)
MIRA GOT ONE TOO! HOW COOOLL!!! :DDDD

My very first double X and 1 L clothing & for once its not a pass-me-down shirt. (:

I LOVE MY JOBBBBBBB

May peace be upon you....

Alhamdulilah today was definitely one of the better days. the queue wasn't as long and the customers did not asked tooo non-sense-si-cal questions that is hard to answer and all of the transactions went smoothly - well most of them - and even Boss said all in all "It was a good day. Give a pat on your back". Alhamdulillah Wa Syukur Lillah

One of the friends I have at work is showing me a black face. I guess it comes with authority and power. In a way I know he is doing this for my own good, in another, I can't help missing that friend. I hope I can learn things at Enterprise Banking faster so that I can see my friend smile again at me and give him less worries.

Have you watch The Devil's Wear Prada? Ykno the leading actress? yeah, that and her 'senior colleague' the one who had the flu and was so call de-moted and when she's having a bad, terrible, sick day did she give up? Nope, instead she said, "I love my job, i love my job, i love my job." maybe you might think she's pathetic. Well in life you either have the talents or the guts and determination to do something. I admire her role because she might not have the best-i-know-how but at least she knows what she wants and tries to go for it with all that she can. If I can't be great at this job, I want to at least give it all I could before I throw down the curtain and call it quits.

I owe that much to those who had endured me through learning it.

Allah hu Rabbi, help me get through this please.

endless

May peace be upon you. (:

What's the probability that you would end up with someone who is not your "type" at all?

I saw a couple in MRT today.
The woman, fully and decently and muslimah-ly covered but the man has a tattoo on the side of his neck. They were both teasing and playing with a baby in a pram parked near his feet. His right arm occasionally resting on the woman's lap when his sitting back in his seat.

I found myself asking..........

WHAT IS THIS WOMAN, SO DECENTLY COVERED, DOING CHOOSING THIS MAN AS HER HUSBAND?


Somewhere in my brain, a story Ustad Usama Cannon had shared reposition itself in my head. It goes somth like this;

"A woman and a man lived together in a house as husband and wife. One day, a stranger came to seek shelter in their home. The stranger saw the wife first, she was so drop-dead gorgeous. When the stranger saw her husband, his jaw dropped and he asked the wife 'You are so beautiful, why are you wih him???' By this qns alone, you can tell how 'good-looking' the husband is. The woman just simply replied 'Maybe I am the Reward to the good deeds that he has done.' Paused. 'Or Maybe he is a punishment to the bad deeds I did.'"


In which ever ways, we put it, there must be a reason as to what and why did marriage happened between them. It could be because of their past, because of the babe's future but I guess, only Allah knows the real story. And no one, especially a virtual outsider, stranger like me, should pass judgement just because they look odd together.

"Every saint has a past,
Every sinner has a future."

SubhanAllah.
&I'm a sinner. :(
astaghfirullahal'azim.


Ya Allah, berkatilah keluarga ku yang sekarang ini dan yang akan datang. Sesungguhnya hanya dengan izin mu, rumahtangga boleh menikmati bahagia.

A diamond ring

May peace be upon you♥



I have been wanting to buy a ring for myself but someone beat me to it.

& I'm thinking probably I'll only have like 10% of the Ferrero Rocher in this box.

Nonetheless,
Thank you. Hearts the gifts and the thoughts (and the Bucuk:') muchhh ♥♥♥

Featuring Rabiatul Adawiyah

may peace be upon you

"Jika aku menyembah-Mu kerana takut daripada api neraka-Mu maka bakarlah aku di dalamnya! Dan jika aku menyembah-mu kerana tamak kepada syurga-Mu maka haramkanlah aku daripadanya! Tetapi jika aku menyembah-Mu kerana kecintaanku kepada-Mu maka berikanlah aku balasan yang besar, berilah aku melihat wajah-Mu yang Maha Besar dan Maha Mulia itu" - Rabiatul Adawiyah

english (or part thereof): If I worship you because I'm scared of your hell, throw me in and let me burn in it! And if I worship you to gain entrance in heaven, forbid me from it! But if I worship you because of my love for you, give me a great reward that is let me see the face of the Greatest, the Al-mighty.



*bows head in shame*

always. forever. whatever.

May peace be upon you~

How will you react if you have a best friend since you know from forever but ever since you parted ways and graduated high school you only had time to occasionally keep in touch with her but one day a social worker comes into your office (when you are at the peak of your career, mind you) and told you, your best friend had met with an accident? Along with that, she had left you with a legal custody of her two daughters? What would you do?


(The Accidental Mother - Rowan Coleman) That's what happened to Sophie when Carrie died. the story has flashbacks of when both of them are younger, bringing me along what their friendship was like before and after they finish school. Ykno the naivete of 13 years old; how grlfrens are forever and all the promises. Its in there. Ykno how people change and drifted apart some time in life because of different priorities? Its in there. Sometimes there's a part of us that just wants to looks back and wish everything was the same? Its in there. And there's sometimes when we step back from all our drama and chaos and just sense that familiar presence that has bring us along where we are now? Yup, its there.

In this story, friendship is more then taking advantage of people just to have fun and joke and laugh and fool about. There's regret of taking things (or in this case Sophie, thinking that Carrie will always be around for her) for granted. It's about respecting others' wishes too and honoring our promises. And agreeing to see their point of views doesn't mean we agree with them, just means we are listening.

Always.Forever.Whatever. - Powerful words full of promises. Cheesy yet it sounds familiar. Why's that so? Allah knows.....


Thanks for last week korang(: TGQ's♥

If you could wake up as anyone tomorrow, who would it be?

I would like to wake up as someone's adored, sheltered, pampered wife and the mother to his children. Haha! @_@

Ask me here.

my type of 'chicken soup' for the soul

May peace be upon you! (:

I miss dancing2!! I think I wannna memorize all the routines in this story and dance my feet off when I can finally 'master' all of it! HEE :D but then again, their moves are so hawwwt ~ do i even dare? haha!




Wallahu'alam.

january daze

May peace be upon you (:

When you've met someone..
They either leave you with an imprinted impression or not.
The imprinted ones are usually the ones that leaves footprints and a aching in your heart.

Its only a month, yet there's so many footprints.



I hope this isn't a real goodbye. Allah knows best. ♥

a stepping-stone

May peace be upon you(:

I am not in the running to become the best Trainee anymore. =( I would be lying if I said I didn't wish I could become one ;p This might sound weird but a part of me actually felt relieved that I failed. The trying to make it on time for retest was a nightmare though! Remind me to wake up and and leave the house before the clock strikes 7! I am so KS these days. Tsk!!

In a way some of the suspense has been cleared and its putting springs in my walk! LOL! Other reasons might be because the weekends are near and I find myself fidgeting for it to start. (:



I appreciate you believing in me ♥

a banking chapter

May peace be upon you :D

I'm currently still reeling from today's event. With so many twirls and ink pads and cursive handwriting its enough to make me go like this ----> %)

Attire-wise; it helps to know I'm in the same boat as others. Wallahu'alam